Introvert

I've had some trouble lately with this whole "mom" thing. I find myself in tears during the day, between L screaming, throwing food and living out the "terrible twos" and H crying and being a human leech, I'm so terribly overwhelmed. Add keeping up with the housework, running errands with two kids and trying to maintain a healthy marriage, I'm shot. 

The other day, I said to my mom, "Sometimes I wish I would have just taken the career woman path and not had children." Of course i didn't mean it, but this job is so physically and emotionally draining that it's beginning to take a toll on me. 

Yes, I know, every mother  goes through this. But I convinced parenting is more difficult for me because I am naturally an introvert. I recharge by having alone time - Peace and quiet is my happy place. When I'm around people all day, young or old, I'm exhausted. What I didn't realize before I had children, silly me, is that there is no alone time. I am on call 24/7. I can't go to the bathroom without  L crawling  all over my lap and counting the moles on my legs. By the end of the day, my tank is running on empty and Isaac gets my fumes when he gets home. 

Isaac has chosen one of the most consuming occupations possible. So getting time by myself is quite difficult. He's on night float currently, working 5pm-7am. This means I have no time away from the kids, unless they're asleep. 

I'm quite content right now. The boys are asleep, Isaac's working like a busy bee at the hospital, and I'm blogging and getting ready to dive into a stack of new books. Isaac is well aware that I'm needing some alone time and that I'm a much better mother and wife when I have me time and we're going to find a solution once his schedule eases up. For now, I'm just trying to embrace this season of life, and sneak in a few moments of quiet, to keep my sanity.